Tough Traveling: The Weasel
The Thursday feature “Tough Traveling” is the brainchild of Nathan of Review Barn, who has come up with the excellent idea of making a new list each week based on the most common tropes in fantasy, as seen in (and inspired by) The Tough Guide to Fantasyland by Diana Wynn Jones. Nathan has invited anyone who is interested to come play along, so be sure to check out the first link for more information.
This week’s tour topic is: The Weasel
Weasels are usually very useful, obtaining information from unlikely sources and the like. For that matter they may be fun to be around. But can they ever really be trusted? Usually about as far as they can be thrown, but one never knows.
Wendy’s Pick:
Real life is keeping Wendy away from Traveling with the Tough Guide today, but she’s asked us to help put up a picture of her pick this week, so we’ll leave you with the one and only indomitable MARA JADE! As someone who has switched sides multiple times in her life, she has also played a great many roles: Emperor’s Hand, smuggler, Jedi Master, and yep, WEASEL.
A picture or three…
Tiara’s Picks
“Maker, take me to your side.”
Wendy only beat you to Mara Jade, Mogsy, because it was my pick and then I scrapped it. Don’t be fooled! IT’S YOUR REPUBLIC! Warning: Slight spoilers ahead for some of these books!
Every Damn Body (Wolf Nature by Vladimir Vasilyev) – In this book, people have evolved from canines rather than apes. For this reason, science had effectively “disabled” the kill gene attributed to the canine factor in humans, and to train a human to kill causes great psychological distress, which is why espionage is their weapon of choice. There are no wars, but countries keep tabs on one another using agents. Once an agent is discovered, they’re relegated to a desk job to appear inactive when in fact they are continuing to work as sleeper cells spies. Very intriguing idea with many twists. I should also note that you’re probably never going to find this book in English. I had a Russian college friend who translated books from Russian to English because he was a turbonerd like that and there was a group of us sci-fi nerds in college that really wanted to read it after he raved about it.
Eliza (Odalisque by Neal Stephenson) – Rescued from a Turkish harem where she was an odalisque. Eliza is now part of the royal court in Versailles in the official capacity of a noblewoman’s governess. Her unofficial capacity gives her access to the information of many nobles who use her for financial matters to keep up appearances and not go bankrupt. For their trouble, she sends information concerning their affairs to her employers. Eliza is smart, calculated, and acts once she has a plan in place.
Luke Castellan (Percy Jackson and the Olympians by Rick Riordan) – While maybe not a traditional weasel as defined here (or is he?), even though he does spy and gather some information. Luke, son of Hermes, possesses many of the skills and more that weasels are infamous for, which naturally come from his father and partly from his own ingenuity. He’s an expert thief, stealing important relics even from right under the gods noses. He’s an expert lockpicker. He can even detect lock wards and disable them. He’s good with money, easily turning profits, and technology, even unfamiliar technology, bends to his will. His loyalties are questionable sometimes. Don’t make me stab you over, Luke. *sniffles* I’ll always love you, Luke. I’m not crying. That’s just rain in my eyes.
The Legend (The Boys by Garth Ennis) – The Legend hates comics, but he’s been in the comic book business for years and provides The Boys with useful information in helping them to bring down the corporation that created these superheroes whose stories he publishes in his comics (that don’t always portray them in the best light because the heroes really are the worst in this book). He’s curmudgeonly, and they don’t know if they’ll ever one day be the ones he starts selling information about, but he’s the best they got.
Sister Nightingale (The Masked Empire by Patrick Weekes) – If you play the games the Dragon Age, you first meet Sister Nightingale as Lay Sister Leliana, a woman running from some past. During the course of the games, she takes on an important role for the Chantry and makes an appearance in The Masked Empire, which leads into the latest Dragon Age game. Leliana is a bard who’s been trained in espionage, combat, and assassination years before the first Dragon Age game. Her role more recently is to serve as the “left hand” of the Divine. She does what the Divine cannot, serving as her spymaster and “neutralizing” her threats. She will do whatever is necessary to achieve the Divine’s goals.
Dandelion (The Witcher Series by Andrzej Sapkowski) Geralt’s bestest friend (yes, I said bestest) who is supposedly so pretty that people often mistake him for an elf or a half-elf. He’s generally thought to be lazy, directionless, and a womanizer, but he sings pretty–if not sometimes off color–songs. While Geralt says that Dandy doesn’t usually get involved in political matters. He’s learned that his bestie spies for kings. Who better than a bard, especially once that everyone thinks is useless for anything other than his poetry and music? Dandy is not a fighter. He’s too pretty for that. He is strictly an information gatherer, but he can provide assistance with getting people to protection when need be. He knows how to sneak around. While sometimes his allegiances may be questioned by some, he’s nothing but good to Geralt, helping him to gather information and even allowing himself to be used as bait sometimes for Geralt’s monster hunting, especially if there’s the possibility of a lady being involved, monster or not.
The Harlot (Hexed by Michael Alan Nelson) – She’s the woman who knows all the secrets. Think of her as The Shadow Broker if you’re familiar with Mass Effect, a procurer of information, and just like the Shadow Broker, she’s willing to sell any information she has for a price without regard of for their allegiance. She knows everything from the mundane to the world shattering, but everything has its price–no matter its danger to the world.
Nani (5 to 1 by Holly Bodger) – Nani is the grandmother of the protagonist Sudasa who lives in a future version of India where boys out number girls 5 to 1, making girls a precious commodity where they were once reviled. Games are held for boys (5 boys to 1 girl) to compete for the girl’s hand in marriage. While Nani isn’t an official part of the government, things start to come to light about Nani’s roles in this new society and the information she’s gained over the years that help keep her and her family in a comfortable place.Mogsy’s Picks:
Good picks, you guys! And shame on me, Mara Jade didn’t even occur to me. No, I actually had another Star Wars character in mind. Actually, I had a lot of trouble thinking up picks for this week, so I would have been surprised if any of my BiblioSanctum buddies and I had doubled up.
The Gospel of Loki by Joanne Harris
Can’t have a list of untrustworthy types without the God of Mischief. Even when Odin took him in as a brother, none of the other gods really welcomed Loki with open arms…and for good reason. Loki goes around whispering, trying to find ways to take Odin and “his popular crowd” down a notch by trading their secrets to those who would love to see Asgard fall. And yes, Loki is TONS of fun to be around, but then that goes without saying…
The husband and I watched The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies recently, and even though Alfrid Lickspittle was a character who was referred to in the novel but not by name, Peter Jackson gave him one and expanded his role for the movies. I thought I would include him here because my exact thought every time I saw him was in fact, “Wow, what a WEASEL.” He’d happily abuse his position to keep his boss in power, and yet sell out his own side at the drop of a hat if he knew it would save his own skin.
The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Furthermore, what’s interesting (and very telling) is the fact Alfrid’s appearance and personality is frequently compared to that of Grima Wormtongue, an agent and spy of Saruman. Neither of them can be trusted as far as you can throw them, and they’re also both corrupt, cowardly, and champion ass kissers.
Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn
I see Wendy and Tiara’s Mara Jade and raise them Talon Karrde – Weasel with a capital W! A smuggler and information broker, Karrde took advantage of the void left in the underworld market after the death of Jabba the Hutt and took the business of buying and selling of information to a whole new level. He’s got a great sense of humor, but his tendency to be friendly with both friend and foe has earned him the reputation for being a shrewd mercenary.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull by James Rollins (Novelization)
Soon as I saw the topic this week, I just couldn’t get this scene outta my head.
Mac: Sorry Jonesy.
Indy: So what are you, a triple agent?
Mac: Nah, I just lied about being a double.
The BiblioSanctum 
Good weasels there 🙂
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Wow. I bow before your collective awesomeness – good job on the weasels. My 2 measly picks look even sadder now.
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Fascinating choices all around! (and I love the concept of that kick-ass heroine in the first picture…) You people are a “clear and present danger” to my “wanted” list of books, because I always come away from your post with a few titles to add to it… 😀 😀
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I’ve probably read The Hobbit at least once a year since the age 9 and I have no idea who Alfred Lickspittle is/what character he is based on! This calls for another rereading to figure out who you are talking about (and probably for me to finally watch the last movie)!
So many great choices as usual 🙂 Love the Mara Jade and Leilianna! She is pretty weaselly, isn’t she? I sort of accidentally turned her into a sociopath in my last play through, and then she became the Divine. OOPS I’m sorry Thedas.
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Yes, I looked up his character after watching the movies and apparently he was a figure only mentioned in passing. Here’s what the LOTR wiki had to say;
“The character was referred to in the novel The Hobbit, at the end of Chapter 10 as one of the Master’s counselors but not by name. Tolkien doesn’t name any of the counselors, so Peter Jackson called him Alfrid Lickspittle.”
Leave it to Jackson to flesh out such a small detail like that.
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Leliana always ends up as my divine, and I’m told it’s because my choices line up with hers the most no matter how much I might support Cass or Vivienne, which makes sense because I just can’t seem to be a real jerk. I’m playing an arrogant boy elf right now, and it’s still just not happening. LOL.
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I was trying really hard to keep Leliana from becoming Divine my first time for the very selfish reason that I wanted her to go home to my Warden so they could live in the country raising baby nugs together… haha. It worked and I ended up with Cass. And then with no. 2 I ended up with murder-happy Divine Leliana (geez, you let her kill ONE GUY and all the sudden it’s all assassination all the time). Goal for no. 3 is a non-psychopathic Leliana as Divine. It’s going to happen!
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Yeah, I’ve only let her kill someone in one playthrough, so at least I get a somewhat not nutso Leliana. I actually don’t have a warden who’s romanced her out of all my 89085479345 playthroughs. The one time I almost did pick her, during that conversation when Wynne asks what are your intentions for your lover. My character’s dialogue options were literally something like:
1. Are you talking about Alistair?
2. Are you talking about Zevran?
3. Are you talking about Leliana?
And I’m sitting here like WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO MY LOVE LIFE ON THIS GAME? It was a very awkward time for my mage. Game even somehow thought she was a guy and let her make babies with Morrigan, and I swear I wasn’t even using a mod. LOL.
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Hahahahaha WHAT?!? I am laughing so much at this!! Your love life was so complicated it broke the game! That is amazing!!!
To be honest romancing Leliana with my first Warden wasn’t what I was expecting! I slept with Zevran, but was then seduced by the charms of Alistair. When he became King we broke up, and then Leliana kind of unexpectedly declared her love for me when I was talking to her about Marjolaine and I was like… well, why not?? It was positively adorable and I was super invested them by the end in spite of it being a bit of an accident, haha. That particular playthrough is definitely the most hilariously soap opera-like of any I’ve done, though. I was playing a mage, so I like to think that propositioning Cullen within the first, like, 5 minutes of the game really set the tone… lol.
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I hated Cullen all my life until the 3rd freaking game. I flirted with him on one playthrough and then reloaded just because I hated him so much and wanted to go back to ignoring him. I spent two ENTIRE games wanting to slap his hair straight and then they made me almost like him. Don’t you tell Wendy that, okay. I want her to continue to think that I think he’s trash. My first mage got all mixed up with Alistair and Zevran, but she was was a mage and she wasn’t about to be anyone’s mistress (though I do have an elf who is Alistair’s mistress, too, just to SEE what that’s all about) and Zev was more her speed anyway. (I have a headcanon that almost all my mages are sex-crazed because he helps build mana… LOL… don’t ask.) Leliana reminded me of how I found out that Liara was into my character. I was like: “Wait, wait, w-w-hat? You think I wanna date you?” I don’t even want to talk about how twisted in the head Liara and Kaidan had my first Shepard who was all “I WAS JUST TALKING TO YOU GUYS. I AM SAVING MYSELF FOR GARRUS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” LOL.
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HAHA your secret of almost-liking Cullen is safe with me! I will fully admit that I ended up romancing Cullen my first play through of Dragon Age Inquisition (though it probably would have been Solas if I had rolled an elf) and I loved it to bits and pieces. It’s like I reverted to preteen girlhood because I just kept sitting there giggling uncontrollably during it. Except I didn’t even do that as a preteen. I’m not even a romantic person!! What did you do to me, BioWare?!? I don’t even know. I pretty much have every possible romantic situation of DAO in at least one play through; with Zev, Alistair’s mistress, Queen, etc… My most recent load into Inquisition is the first one with a Warden Alistair still with my Warden, and I am SO AFRAID of what is to come. And Leliana, Liara, and Kaidan: you think you’re just being a nice friendly person, and then they think you’re dating. At least it’s less awkward in a video game than when it happens in real life?
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I think you three should be crowned queens of Tough Travelers. Where do you find all these people? 🙂
Great pick with Luke Castellan – I liked that boy so much. Did he *have* to go and pick the side of an ancient monster? Bad planning right there.
Every time I see a picture of Wormtongue from the movie I think of that actor in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. He’ll forever be Billy for me.
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Haha, I don’t know what I think every time I see a picture of Wormtongue. Probably that I want to wash his hair. LOL!
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I have loved Luke since my kids and I first met him in the PJ series. We listen to it on audiobook together, and he’s always been my favorite, probably because in weak spot for people who just want their parents to notice them and have some complicated issues as a result. We’re just about to get around to the 4th book and it’s become a joke among my kids that Luke makes mommy cry.
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This is an excellent list as usual! Well done lovely ladies, I also bow down before you in respect 😀
I love that The Harlot is on here – so recent a read and yet it simply didn’t occur to me.
The Hobbit character is a good choice.
I particularly think that Grima is almost specifically written for this week’s topic in fact he was the first thing that sprung to mind, followed by Pettigrew, and then I simply couldn’t get him out of my head!
‘Who knows what you have spoken to the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night, when all your life seems to shrink, the walls of your bower closing in about you, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in? ” gotta love a great quote!
And, Loki – you simply have to love Loki. Such a twisty turny thing.
Lynn 😀
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Grima and Peter…Wormtongue and Wormtail – how fitting that they go hand in hand 🙂
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Amazing list! This topic struck me as a difficult one, and you guys nailed it. I bow to your awesomeness.
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That book about humans evolving from canines sounds super fascinating! Too bad it doesn’t exist in English:(. I’ve not read the Percy Jackson series but it totally makes sense that the son of Hermes would be a weasel! Finally Wormtongue *shivers* is such a great addition to the list. He’s a weasel to out weasel all others!
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I wish I still had the translated copy from college, but that was many moons and computers ago, sadly. 😦 There’s a lot of cool stuff I wish I had from that time. Too bad the cloud didn’t exist then. Honestly, I didn’t have much interest in the PJ series at first, even though I love mythology, but my son decided that he was more interested in PJ than Harry Potter, so we started listening to the audiobook for it together during our morning drives to his school. Then, I found I really liked the series.
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Dandelion and Leliana! Tiara, you win by a nose. 😀
Alfrid is also a great choice. He just kept going from bad to worse to worser in that movie, didn’t he? 😀
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I can’t wait to see how they portray Waller in Suicide Club!
And as for Mara Jade… My hatred of Keven J Anderson started when he turned her into nothing more than a prize for Lando to win. Seriously? Fuck KJA.
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Thank you, my ladies, for covering me on this one! Your photo choices are awesome!
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